Finding Reason
by Jinxxerz
Summary: Her whole life has been filled with mistakes. Now, she's made one of the greatest mistakes one could make. What will she do? Will she find absolution in her childhood friend? Or will she become the failure her Father has always claimed her to be? (Recycled story details from Breaking Through the Storm) (Character OOC)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hello! It's been a while since I wrote anything fanfic related. The plot may be a bit familiar if you've read my previous fanfic Breaking Through the Storm. I recycled that one into this one. I wanted to change certain things I had going and I'm happy with where I'm going with this one. Hopefully it will pull through. Let me know what you think. **

**Music: Wretched and Divine (CD) Black Veil Brides, Lollipop and Stupid Girl by Framing Hanley**

**Chapter 1: Mistakes**

Positive. It was flashing positive. Not able to move, she just keeps staring at that plus sign. Her face petrified with disbelief. It turns out her birth control didn't fall into that 99.99% range of protection. Anything trying to break through the wall of confusion came out in a jumbled mess. So, when she felt a tap on her shoulder the only thing she could do was blink. Not able to look up from that flashing sign. It was mocking her. She could swear it.

_She promised herself one night of carefree fun. She needed it, so that's what she did. She joined the mass of swaying bodies. Letting herself go. Drinking six, eight, ten, she lost track. But it didn't matter._

She could feel the presence of someone standing next to her, hear the sound of their breath hitch in confusion as they took in the sight of that plus sign. It was like that symbol was mocking her existence. Her life has been filled with one mistake after another. After graduation, she thought that she would be able to go to college and get a fresh start away from her Father's judgmental glare and the weight of being the family heiress. She didn't want the position. But she couldn't force it on her sister. It wasn't right, and though she's been dealt a bad hand so many times through her short life she couldn't bring herself to throw a hardball at her sister. Hanabi has always been the purest light in her life, she kept her going.

_She got to the point that she was giggling. Her clothes had somehow become sparse. Only a skirt and bra was adorning the Hyuuga heiress. She couldn't give a damn. Nothing else made sense, except that tonight she was free. _

"Is that yours..?"

Not feeling the need to speak, she nods her head in the slightest movement. But it's enough for her sister. As her body is enveloped in a hug meant for comfort, Hinata finds herself staring at that sign. Not able to move her gaze, still.

_And what do free people do? Whatever they want! So that's what she did. _

Time flows as they stand there. Staring at that flashing symbol.

"Hina.. I came here to tell you that Father wants to see you. Now."

Feeling her stomach drop, Hinata pulls herself from the warm arms of her sister. Finally able to take her eyes of the pee-stick.

"Here.. Let me get rid of that. We don't want Father seeing it.."

"Oh.. Right.."

Leaving the evidence of her mistake with her sister, she leaves the room.

_Even in her deeply intoxicated state, she could sense a gaze on her. One that she was familiar with, yet not. It was one that was dangerous. It represented a time in her life when she was happy. So she avoided it. But she wanted to be happy again._

She wasn't going to tell her Father. Not yet, at least. Many things have to be processed first. What are her options? Abortion, that's what first came to mind. But it wasn't the Hyuuga way, but then again, what was? Should she tell the Father? Will he be able to help her? How will he react? So many questions and choices have to be made..

"Take a seat."

_That gaze closed in on her. To the point that she was swaying with it's owner. Hands moving and caressing one another. It was as if a fire was ignited within her body. She was on fire. It was so intense, she couldn't handle it anymore. _

Her Father, Hiashi Hyuuga, gave her an expectant look. She'd just arrived in his office. Settling down in a chair across from him, thankful for the desk between them. It served as a barrier.

_Their lips crashed onto one another. _

"Tonight we have an important dinner meeting. You are to dress in a modest classy manor. Your future is to be determined tonight. You may go now."

Blinking, she rises from her seat. Saying her thanks, she leaves the room. Not sure what to think about what her Father just said. All she knew was that it was time to go check her closet to find something suitable. Even though she knew whatever she chose her Father would disapprove, she knew she should at least try.

_Her hands tangled in his hair. His in hers. _

After hours of preparing, she was content. She chose to go with her favorite beige ballet flats, a baby pink evening gown with a sweet heart neckline and a ripple effect skirt, and her hair halfway up with loose curls falling down. Only wearing light eyeliner and a neutral lip color. She knew this is what her Father expected of her.

_He picks her up. Hands on her ass. _

"Oh, Hina! You look beautiful!"

Hanabi was currently gushing over her. Though nervous, Hinata gave a weak smile.

"Thank you.."

With a smile, Hanabi embraces her sister with so much warmth.

_Her body quivering at his touch, their lips never leaving one another. _

"You'll do amazing tonight. I'm sure Father will be impressed. Even if he doesn't say so. He'd be crazy not to approve."

_Slamming open a door shut behind them, she finds herself dropped onto a bed. Their lips parted. Protests leave her. _

Just seated, she sat next to her Father. It was customary during events like these. Just as it was for her Father to order for the both of them. Not bothered by it, she sat there looking alert. Paying attention to whatever her Father had to say. Earlier on, he had actually surprised her. Hanabi was right in saying that their Father approved of her attire for tonight. It was odd. He was actually giving her more kindness then he ever did.

_Soon to be calmed after all barriers were shed. _

"Ah. It looks like our guests for tonight have arrived."

At his words, she follows his gaze and freezes in her seat. Taking in the sight of her Father shaking hands with Fugaku Uchiha and kissing Mikoto Uchiha's hand, she nearly has an amorism at the sight of Sasuke Uchiha. Someone's voice breaks her out of her reverie.

_Limbs tangling with one another, her mewls of need soon answered. _

"It's been so long since I've seen you, Hinata. You've grown to be the image of your Mother."

Mikoto's kind words ring through her mind, causing a shock of sorts. She's never been treated so kindly. Well, maybe her sister but this was different.

_They moved together, to the distant music. _

"Thank you, Mikoto-san."

A smile was evident on Hinata's face, one that caused her to light up. This was all thanks to Mikoto. But then she saw her Father's eyes, the showed with a light of disapproval. Instantly causing her smile to drop as well as her gaze. She sat there quietly now, awaiting their dinner.

_They needed each other. _

While her Father and Fugaku talked business she partook in light conversation with Mikoto.

"What are your plans now that you're out of school?"

_Both having their own reasons. Though it didn't matter. _

"I'm going to intern under my Father at the family business."

Mikoto gives her a look of interest.

"What is it that _you_ want to do?"

Playing with her hands, she gives a shy reply.

"Well.. I was thinking of taking a painting class over the summer.. That is, if I have enough time. And if Father approves.."

_All that mattered was that moment. _

Before Mikoto can say anything more, Fugaku interrupts them.

"I think it's time to tell them. Don't you, Hiashi?"

"Of course."

Curious, Hinata looks at from her Father and Fugaku. Though it was Mikoto who spoke.

_That moment was what would change everything. _

"You and Sasuke are to be married."

She nearly chokes on her water.

"W-what?"

Her Father gives her a look of disapproval, but Mikoto just smiles at her.

_Quivering, they collapse within one another. Everything going dark. _

"You're going to become apart of the family. Isn't that lovely? Your Mother and I have been planning this since you two were born."

_Until the morning, when they realize who and what they just did.. _

Before Hinata can say anything, her Father strikes up conversation with Mikoto and Fugaku. Leaving the two betrothed youths to stare at one another. This being the first time Hinata had the nerve to look at him. She could see that plus sign flashing again. Was she being mocked by fate?


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Helloo! Thank you for the lovely reviews. I hope you have more of that enthusiasm for what this chapter holds. :) Also I would like to apologize for any grammatical and/or typos in the previous chapter and this one. I don't have a beta to go through and help with those mistakes, so you'll have to bare with me. **

**Music: Blame Me by The Pretty Reckless, Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille, **

**Chapter 2: Masquerade**

She always has trouble deciding what to wear. If it weren't for her sister, Hinata would be a fashion massacre, as her sister put it. Right now she was modeling different outfits Hanabi picked out for her.

A week passed since the dinner with the Uchiha's. Now, she and Sasuke are required to have weekly dates, so that when they're married neither of them share a bed with a stranger. Of course that wouldn't exactly be the case. They often played together in their childhood until the passing of her Mother. Then the playdates stopped and she was thrown into the harsh reality her Father decided to place her into.

"I love the way this one brings out the lilac in your eyes."

Biting her lip, she looks back into the mirror, taking in her reflection. Hanabi had her dressed in a simple a-line violet gown that came just above her knees with nude three inch peep-toe pumps. Out of all the outfits she'd made her try on, this was the one Hinata agreed with the most. The other ones had been too out there for her comfort.

"This one I like the most."

Smiling with glee, Hanabi claps.

"Yay! I knew you would love it. Get your butt over to the vanity now!"

"Okay, okay."

Hurrying to the vanity so her sister wouldn't have a fit, she settles in the seat. Not sure what Hanabi had in store for her, she just hoped it wouldn't be anything to crazy. Hanabi sometimes went overboard, though lately she's been doing better with remembering it wasn't _her_ that was wearing the style.

"Sooo do you know what Sasuke has in mind for you two tonight?"

"Uhm.. No.. "

"Hmm.." Hanabi's eyes lock with hers through the mirror. "What did he say at the dinner?"

"I already told you he didn't say anything.." Her cheeks flush whilst she avoids her sisters intense gaze through the mirror.

"I know you're hiding something!"

"He really didn't.."

"Then why are you blushing? Hmmmmm?"

Sighing, she forces her gaze to meet her sisters.

"He didn't say anything."

"I know you're lying.. But I won't push anymore."

Playing with her fingers, she just sits there silently awaiting her sister to finish. In truth, images of that foretelling night have been invading her thoughts since the dinner.

Hanabi steps back.

"Done! What do you think?"

Looking into the mirror, Hina stares at herself in awe. Her hair was pulled back in a braided bun with ringlets hanging down to frame her face. She had on simple silver amethyst set studded earings with a matching delicate necklace. Her sister had put a light layer of mascara on her naturally curled lashes and a pretty nude pink lip tint.

"Thank you Nabi.. You made me pretty."

"Hina, you're more than pretty. You're beautiful. I just wish you'd see it like everyone else does."

Smiling at her sister, she gets up and gives her a hug.

"You're so kind to me Hanabi. I don't deserve it."

Frowning, Hanabi gives her an embrace in return.

"You know I disapprove of that attitude you have towards yourself.."

"I know."

'Then stop it and go have fun."

She gives her sister a serious look.

"How can I have fun with someone I hardly know anymore? Not to mention.. This.." She motions towards her still flat stomach.".. I don't even know how I'm going to tell him.."

Placing her hands on her sisters shoulders, Hanabi looks into Hinata's eyes.

"Just enjoy tonight. Get to know one another again. The answer will come to you soon enough, it always does."

Smiling, she nods.

"You always know what to say, Nabi."

"Of course I do, I'm the wise one here."

Snorting, she hugs her sister and heads out.

Just short of thirty minutes the young heiress finds herself being seated at a secluded table, shy of any prying eyes, where her fiance was already settled at. Avoiding eye contact with him, Hinata smiles at the server helping her settle at the table.

"Thank you."

The server smiles in return.

"It's my pleasure Ms Hyuuga. Is there anything I can get you until your assigned server comes for your orders?"

"Hm..." Scanning the beverage menu, she chews on her lip trying to decide. Nothing really stood out to her, well nothing she could drink in her current state. With a sigh she gives up and decides on sparkling apple juice. "I'll take the sparkling apple juice."

"Coming right up."

The server smiles and hurries off to get her requested drink. Hinata looks across at her fiance. He was awfully quiet.. Deciding to break the ice, she smiles awkwardly at him.

"He-hello.."

Damn, why did she have to stutter now of all times? Annoyed, she gives her fiance her full attention, deciding to brush off the fact she was obviously showing her nerves to him. In truth she had no reason to be nervous, or did she? Maybe she did.. She was a living incubator for his offspring at the current moment, after all. Should she tell him now? Just get it over and done with? No.. That wouldn't be right.. She should just do what Hanabi told her. Have fun. Yeah. That's what she'll do.. If she can..

"-other night."

Snapping from her internal argument, she gives him a questioning look.

"I'm s-sorry.. What did you say?"

Her voice was coming out a bit timid, but at least her stuttering was minimized. Hopefully she could refrain from that awful habit for the rest of the evening..

Sasuke gives her a bemused look.

"The other night. Do you remember it?"

Feeling her breath hitch in her throat, the startled heiress gives him a look similar to that of a deer caught in the headlights. Of course she remembered. How could she not? She was _pregnant_.. Should she tell him? No.. Not yet. She already went over this. Internally cringing, she focuses on calming herself to the point that her facial expression holds a calm monotone. Though not able to trust her voice at the moment, she just gives the man a curt nod.

She notes his change in position. Before he had been sitting back in his chair, but now he was leaning inward with his elbows on the table; His hands intertwined whilst resting his chin upon them. His hypnotic gaze was pulling her from any thought process she was having. There was an intensity flaring between them, more so than what it had been when she first sat at the table. It had slowly increased to the point that if a spark were to flare within their vicinity, the place would ignite into flames.

Without realizing it, she to was now leaning inward similar to that of the Uchiha male. Her gaze was locked into his.

"That night we danced," his voice comes out in a whisper. "Like the masquerade. Except you didn't run."

The masquerade.. That was the night they first saw each other since they were children. It was the night that she blocked herself off from him.. That was when they first locked lips and it was when she ran from him..

_Nerves. That's what she felt. Tonight was her first in the aristocratic spotlight since the passing of her Mother. So it had to be understandable how she felt currently, right? _

_ After receiving a message from her Father to return from abroad, she found herself being whirled off to a custom boutique to get fitted for a ballgown befitting her position. Which she was now wearing. _

_Because she had recently turned sixteen, her Father decided to bring her home for the rest of her education (training, really). It was the yearly masquerade gala. Everyone would be masked for the duration of the event, until the looming antique clock (nestled high in the arched ceiling) struck midnight. _

_ As a child she always begged her Mother to take her along to this mysterious event, but she would just smile at her and tell her she must wait to come of age. Then she would tuck her in and place a kiss upon her brow. Now that the time has come for her to attend that mysterious event, and all she wanted was to feel her Mother's reassuring embrace. _

_So now she was immersed in the shadows of the ballroom, taking in the sight of the various aristocrats dancing, laughing, socializing. _

_ She had no idea what to do. What was her Father thinking, putting her in this situation? Was this his way of making up for the cruel distance he put between the two for all those years? Or was he just following the expected protocol of their social class? _

_Not wanting to dwell on such thoughts, she slowly edges to the refreshment tables. She was feeling a bit desiccated (thirsty). _

_ Eyeing the various beverages, she settles upon sparkling apple juice. Grasping her drink, she makes her way back into the shadows. Drinking the delectable liquid as she goes. This proves to be her downfall, as she bumps into someone and nearly falls, but a firm grasp on the heiress's waist prevents her from doing so. _

_ Doe-eyed, she gazes up at her savior, a stuttering apology trying to slip from her rosy lips. Though it catches in her throat as the familiar dark gaze of her captor overwhelms her. _

_No words come from him. He takes her up and pulls her along to the garden outside the ballroom. It was less crowded there. And that's where he pulled her to him, and they moved together. _

_ Their eyes never leaving one another. A feeling was overtaking her. One of familiarity. She knew who this male was, yet she refused it. He represented the past._

_ A wall sat between curiosity and pain. Certain things she refused to let through. It was memories of a time where she was happy, and she couldn't let herself remember. Pain would only come from such action._

_Time flew by as they danced. Never uttering a sound. Their gaze never moving from the other. It felt like a dream to her. One she never wished to break from. But then, the clock tolled midnight. It's bells announcing the moment where everyone was to remove their mask. _

_ Not daring to breath, she removes her mask as he does his own. Now naked to his unwavering obsidian pools. Her opaque lavenders mirror her internal emotions. It was a cracking, that wall she had built securely around what was to remain locked away. Just the utterance of her name upon his lips caused more to break through. It wouldn't stop. She had to get away. _

_ To late. He's overtaken her with a single action. His lips against hers. The heat of his embrace overwhelming her. She doesn't know what else to do but reply to his actions with mirrored ones to his. Her luminescent lavenders overflow with her pain. The liquid seeping from her tear ducts, marking a moist pathway down her cheeks. _

_ There were no more cracks. The wall was gone. She was flooded with unwanted memories, emotion, pain. Not able to take anymore, she pulls away. Her face mirroring the chaotic state her mind held. _

_ Bewilderment was obvious in the male's face. Before he could voice the question forming on his lips, she ran. She continued to run until she was out of the ballroom. Out of the building. Down the street. Running so far until she didn't know where she was. Then, she fell. The last thing that flashed before her eyes before a welcoming darkness was the look in her Mother's eyes as she lay on the ground bleeding. _

"Why did you run?"

"I.. I.." Breathing in, she continues to stare into his questioning gaze. "I had to. Everything I locked away broke free. You have no idea of the pain... I just..."

Stopping momentarily, she feels his gentle touch as he wipes away the tears she hadn't been aware of. Pulling together a broken smile, she thanks him.

"Continue, please."

Nodding, she takes another breath to settle her nerves.

"I've held everything in a dark locked room and I don't want it breaking free. I'm not ready for it. I wasn't ready for it then and I'm not now. Seeing you and that kiss.. It just broke something and it all came back.. It took me months to build the wall back up.."

"And now..?"

"It's still there, but I know how to keep it standing. Mentally, I'm stronger. One day I will face it. But not now.."

"Hm.."

Just then their orders come. Surprised, she looks from the food to Sasuke. He had ordered them grilled cheese with tomato soup. It was what they always ate during their playdates.

"Heh.. It was the only thing I could think of that you liked. You always insisted on the grilled cheese when we were kids.."

"It's perfect.." She gives him a small smile. One that wasn't forced. It came naturally to her.

"Good."

Eating in silence, she eyes him from time to time. He still had the determined look he always held whilst eating. She couldn't help but giggle. Perking his attention.

"Hn?"

Biting her lip, she shakes her head. Taking a rather large bite of her grilled cheese. His expression causes her to stop mid-bite. A questioning look directed at him. He just shakes his head, smirking at her. Shrugging, she resumes devouring her sandwich.

Moments of silence settle between them. Not bothering either of them.

"Why are you here anyway?"

His question catches her off guard.

"I'm here to have dinner with you..?"

"Tsk. You know what I mean."

Realization dawns on her. Giving him an ominous look, she adjusts herself to a more comfortable position.

"I'm required to fulfill whatever is required of me as the Hyuuga heir."

"There has to be more."

Biting her lip, she fiddles her thumbs in her lap. Darting her gaze around.

"What about you? You have understanding parents. They wouldn't make you do anything without your consent.."

"Hn.. I'm taking my brother's place as heir, someone has to do it. He's locked away in rehab. What's your excuse?"

Feeling a bit out of place from his sudden abrubtness, she fidgets a bit more. Trying to think of what to say.. Her original plan was to run off after graduation and take her full scholarship to Konoha Art Institute, but when she realized Hanabi would be forced into taking her place she stayed. And then she got _pregnant_. So.. Those were two very damn good reasons to be there..

"I don't want to force the pressure onto my sister."

"I knew you were kind, but to be that kind has to take a toll.."

Nodding her head, she decides to redirect the conversation.

"So... I don't really know much about you.. Nor you me.. Unless you still love your cat plushies." She looks at him questioningly.

Coughing, he moves in his seat. A look of embarrassment obvious in his eyes.

"I can't believe you still remember that.."

"I remember a lot of things.."

"Hn. Well let us talk then."

Nodding, the two converse for what feels like hours.

That is, until a very loud commotion attracts their attention.

"What.."

Hinata's words are lost as a whirlwind of pink knocks her from the seat. Frozen in shock, she just stares up in bewilderment at her attacker.

"You sneaky little bitch! I thought we were friends?! How could you get between Sasu-kun and me?! He's mine!"

A raging Sakura was screaming for the whole restaurant to hear, holding Hinata on the ground in a painful grip. Realization finally crosses the heiress's face. She forgot that Sakura was in love with Sasuke.. The two had a relationship in high school, but she thought they broke up. Wouldn't that be the case with their engagement..?

"Get off my fiancee, Sakura. Now."

The agitated voice of Sasuke causes chills to go down Hinata's spine.

"Why should I listen to you? You traitor!"

Before the pinkette can so much as strike the downfell Hyuuga, she's pulled off and flung onto the other side of the table.

"Get out of here you stupid bitch."

Turning his attention from the screeching woman, Sasuke holds his hand out for his fiancee. Taking the offered hand, Hinata stands up only to double over. Grasping onto her, Sasuke gives her a look of concern.

"What's wrong?"

Panting, her lilacs dart up to meet his.

"I'm.. p-pregnant.. h-hospital.. n-now.." her voice comes out in breathes as she doubles over again. Groaning in pain.


End file.
